For my sisters and my thrifty Portland friends (everyone else, you just won't get it):

Just now at the dinner table, Matilda said, "I'm going to tell you a story. Once upon a time there was a little girl named Blythe who was grown up, but she was still a little girl. And her mama left her at home all alone. And a woman came and knocked on the door. She came in and said, 'Where's your mother, little girl?' And Blythe said, 'She's at the store.' And the woman said, 'What store?' And Blythe said, 'Red, White and Blue.' The end."

That girl. At least she knows where my priorities lie.