Insomnia

I woke up before 4 this morning. Hungry. What's new!?

I like being awake early in the morning. It's a good time to think. The world is so quiet and the light outside is eerie against the snow. I like to hear my sweet boy breathing softly, occasionally snorting, beside me. I am so in love. A little critter wriggles in my belly. Yes. I am so in love.

My house smells funny, like someone else's furniture. Kind of like when you do your laundry at your in-laws'. I'd better wipe down those craigslist finds and see if I can't freshen things up a bit. What else do I have to do today?

-Work out--may or may not happen.
-Get homeowner's insurance--I think I've found the cheapest policy.
-Close out our IRAs and move everything to checking--we're about to be very poor!
-Meet my midwife for the first time--I'm so glad she took me on, even at 33 weeks. Did I just say 33 weeks?! Holy cabooses. I'm about to be a mom!
-Make dinner.
-Go to the temple with my sweetheart--once this little lady comes, it may be a while before I can go again. My burgeoning belly won't fit into my temple dress, but they say they can find something for me to wear!

I remember back to just about one year ago. Life was perfect. I was pregnant then, too. But I wasn't feeling so well. We were having dinner and a movie at Thomas and Melissa's when I realized I was miscarrying. I sat, crying, on one side of the bathroom door, Melissa, crying, on the other. Chace and I didn't make it to our temple shift the next day.

How long ago that seems. A lifetime ago. I'm sure the passage of time has dulled the pain of that episode, but even now as I think back on it, I remember the overwhelming feeling: "All is well." Unpleasant as it was, we were okay. Chace was an angel in every way, of course. And Melissa fed us well for days and days! And how relieved I was to be back in the temple the next week, the place where we learn who we are and why we're here and that there's a Master Sorter-Outer who knows me and what's going on in my life. Because of my experiences in that sacred place, I never had to wonder if it would all work out. I knew it would, somehow. Just like I knew it was no coincidence that we were with Thomas and Melissa that night--the closest thing to a brother and sister around--someone for me to cry with, someone to put a strong hand on Chace's shoulder. Just like I also knew it was no coincidence that we were allowed to be temple workers that semester, even though we couldn't commit to the usually-required 6 months. The temple presidency bent the rules for us, and I know that those 6 hours a week made all the difference.

Now, again, life is perfect. Not because I deserve it, and not even because it really is, but because I know there is a perfect Father and His perfect Son in charge of it all. And even when it's not perfect, it's okay. I'm trying. And He knows. And it all works out.

I can't wait for tonight!

Going out on a limb...

Okay, it's always dangerous to recommend movies, but I had never heard of this one and probably would never have come across it if not for the recommendation of my sister, so I feel rather obligated to share. Here goes:

Lars and the Real Girl. See it. Don't read about it first; the synopsis may throw you. Just get it and enjoy one of the sweetest, most tender yet subtle movies you'll ever see. We loved it. Let us know what you think!

It's official...

I now weigh as much as my husband. He insists that it's just extra muscle from carrying this girl around, but I know the truth. It's the nachos.

And I thought I was doing so well when, after coming home from our Christmas vacation 10 pounds the wiser, I lost 4 of those pounds within the week. Oh well. At least I'm not alone--Chace is the proud father of not one, but two babies: one human child, one jerky baby. I dread what that scale will say in two months when this baby is ready to evacuate. Heaven help me.

This week from Elder Pietr

2/1/2010

"I've left my abode in XinDian AnKang. I love that place. It was a ghetto little piece of city nestled in steep-cliff mountains covered with thick jungle. I saw MANY miracles there, to share a few:

Cui & I had an impression to go to a certain area of the city and contact people/knock doors. When we got there we came to a place where the small street we walked divided into 4 small lanes, we both felt to walk down a certain one, and the first door we knocked a small Taiwanese came out, she listened intently as we briefly shared about Heavenly Father and His restored gospel. She didn't really understand what we said (many of them really have no idea who Jesus Christ is, so His 'restored' gospel has even smaller import) but she felt the spirit and wanted the blessings we promised her family - she is doing great & LOVES church, she's progressing so fast.

One day Cui I were contacting in a park, and I saw an apartment building across the river and thought to go there and knock a bit. When we got there, we had several doors to choose from (each door leads into a complex of probably 50+ apartments.) We rang one of the 50 doorbells, and someone let us in without checking to see who we were- Cha Ching! We started knocking the complex without much luck, when we only had 5 minutes left. Cui said, "OK, just knock the ones that feel good, we only have a few minutes. "This door seems good." We knocked and met a college-aged girl, gave her a tract and welcomed her to church, expecting nothing of it. Next sunday she showed up!!! and started meeting with the sister missionaries. She will be baptized this month! It's a great feeling to be a sharp Rambo knife in the hand of the Lord. There were many more miracles. I will miss that place..."